I’m at a point in my life where I need to get myself going in a direction other than I’m heading. I want to do what I like, and work in a field where I’m challenged and valued for my talents. I want to do something that I have a passion for. I know that things are very rarely easy, but it helps to see where other people have been. If at all possible I want to avoid mistakes that will make my life more difficult.
I’m re-reading a book right now: “What Should I do With my Life?” by Po Bronson. He tells stories of SO many people, their successes and failures, and what each one has been through to realize their passion. There are people who just know what they want to do and go after it. There are people who get to where they thought they wanted to be and are miserable. There are people who search the world wide and finally find happiness in their own back yard, and there are people who travel a long and twisted road to find their happiness. It’s a difficult book for me to read right now, because I want to be optimistic yet realistic in my expectations for myself and my goals.
In my life I’ve been afraid of what the world can offer. I’ve been afraid to make a decision for fear of being trapped in a situation that I don’t want to be in. Instead of getting out there and taking in what I can, I’ve hidden a little bit. Just the fact that I’ve realized this has made me want to change. I know now that I can do anything I choose. I don’t have to stick with something that is not satisfying my needs just because I once made an unfavorable decision.
I have a passion for writing, but I don’t know were it fits. I have to start somewhere though, and my blog has helped me to blossom. It’s given me confidence in areas where I had none before, and brought me wonderful friends and mentors.
I’ve found through the years that I can’t force anything to happen. Many times my agenda conflicts with the time, situations, and places I am in. I’ve had to learn to roll with it, and not beat myself up when I don’t stick to one specific path. I’m somewhat of a perfectionist, and it’s hard for me to keep going when things don’t turn out the way I’ve planned. I put enormous amounts of pressure on myself to stick to the plan because, “I’m not a quitter!” It has been detrimental at times. I’ve taken steps back when I could have been moving forward.
Things I thought I learned are taught to me time and time again. Steven R. Covey said, “To know and not to do, is really not to know.” So, I figure that to truly learn from my experiences, I have to take away with me something that I didn’t KNOW before. If I can do that, I can deal with the fact that it may take years to fully recognize my potential and dreams as they apply to me and my life. I want what most people want. I want to make educated choices. I want to avoid heartache when I can, and I want my hard work to pay off in the end.
Posted in Thinkin' & Livin' | 9 Comments »
Sometimes at night I get lonely, and I want to talk. I’ll talk to almost anyone out there who’ll listen. Why do you think this is? I’m really not desperate, I just get playful and happy at night. Most of the time, it’s really late at night. Why does the whole rest of the world have to be asleep? Or maybe they just think I’m weird and try to avoid me. Either way, there are many nights where valid conversations are trapped in my head almost bursting out through my ears. That’s why I’m typing this right now.