Archive for June, 2009

A Dose of Humor

June 25th, 2009

When I got to work today people were in a bad mood. I started telling the dumbest jokes I could think of, and I have to admit, the others had some pretty dumb ones too. BUT it put a smile on all of our faces. :D Here’s what I got:

 

Q. Why do chicken coops have two doors?
A. Because if they had four they’d be a sedan.

 

Q. Where does dragon milk come from?
A. Short cows.

 

Q.Where does a general keep his armies?
A. Up his sleevies.

 

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel that looks like it’s attached to his belt. The bar tender says, “What’s up with the steering wheel?”
The pirate replies, “Arrghh… it’s drivin’ me nuts!”

 

A man walked into his doctors office wearing only plastic wrap. The doctor took one look at him and said, “I can clearly see your nuts.”

 

George Washington, George W. Bush, and Bill Clinton are on a ship when it starts to sink.
George Washington yells, “Save the women!”
George W. Bush yells, “Screw the women!”
Bill Clinton says, “Do we have time?”

 

Got any more? I sure could use them on days like this.

Say it fast and furious…

June 18th, 2009

Politely so professional
Digressing to political
Somewhat diabolical
Always analytical
And most of all illogical
Can’t grasp the metaphysical
Born & bred, died in the wool
Don’t take me for a motley fool
Livin’ live has been my school
Bothersome they just persist
Make me wanna slit my wrist
Demand it with an iron fist
Don’t think now, you must enlist
Sorry doesn’t make my list
Even if you think I’ve dis’d
Somday you might get the jist
Of something that you may have missed

You may say that I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one…

June 17th, 2009

As Is

June 16th, 2009

Is it me or is it you?
Old and new and different too
Someone once said I looked like you
But I’m not the girl that I once knew
Let me be me
And you be you
Let three be three
And two be two
This is now, not yesterday
This is how the masters play
One step forward, two steps back
Yet nothing lands you in the past

Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow… Together.

June 8th, 2009

I have always felt a strong connection to the past. I’ve recently begun to search for, read about and document the lives of my family members before me. As I’ve learned of them, I’ve discovered an inheritance I never knew I had. If they had not been who they were, I would not be who I am today.

This link is not only one of family, but of all those who have gone before. One of my favorite hobbies is collecting quotes. When I hear or read something that strikes me to the core, I write it down. I’ve gathered them together in one document that grows larger and larger each week.

I’ve discovered strength, I’ve discovered tenderness, I’ve discovered perseverance, I’ve discovered fond memories, I’ve discovered trials, I’ve discovered truth, and throughout it all I’ve discovered myself.

I’ve compiled this inspiration from the past because it means something to me. Many people from many generations shared this knowledge. They all contributed to the whole of what we are today and what I want to be. (Each person quoted is referenced by number)

Inspiration from the past:

Live every day as if it were your last, because one of these days, it will be.1

Live life fully while you’re here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You’re going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don’t try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human.2  

Every man has his own destiny: The only imperative is to follow it, to accept it, no matter where it leads him.3 Don’t worry about what you will do next. If you take one step with all the knowledge you have, there is usually just enough light shining to show you the next step.4

An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is an adventure wrongly considered.5 He who never ventures beyond actuality will never win the prize of truth.6 Sometimes you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.7

Give yourself the adventure of doing what you can do, with what you have, even if you have nothing but the adventure of trying. How much better than standing in a corner with your back to the wall.8 Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself.9   

Be who you are and say what you feel. Those who mind don’t matter, and those that matter don’t mind.10

Liberation is an ever shifting horizon, a total ideology that can never fulfill its promises.11 The force of mind is only as great as its expression; its depth only as deep as its power to expand and lose itself.12 A thought is often original, though you have uttered it a hundred times.13

The true lover of knowledge naturally strives for truth, and is not content with common opinion, but soars with undimmed and unwearied passion till he grasps the essential nature of things.14 Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.15

Every spirit builds itself a house; and beyond its house a world; and beyond its world, a heaven. Know then, that the world exists for you. For you is the phenomenon perfect. What we are, that only can we see.16 When you look at yourself from a universal standpoint, something inside always reminds or informs you that there are bigger and better things to worry about.17

It is from numberless diverse acts of courage and belief that human history is shaped.18 The future is made of the same stuff as the present.19 The greatest use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it.20 There can be no progress if people have no faith in tomorrow.21 

In the end, you’re measured not by how much you undertake but by what you finally accomplish.22 Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.23

 

1-Jeremy Schwartz, 2- Anthony Robbins, 3- Henry Miller, 4- Mardy Murie, 5-G.K. Chesterton, 6- Friedrich von Schiller, 7- Grateful Dead, 8- Mardy Murie, 9- Harvey Fierstein, 10- Dr. Seuss, 11 – Arianna Huffington, 12- G. W. F. Hegel, 13- Oliver Wendell Holmes, 14- Plato, 15- Ralph Waldo Emerson, 16- Ralph Waldo Emerson, 17- Albert Einstein, 18- Simone Weil, 19- Robert Kennedy, 20- William James, 21- John Fitzgerald Kennedy, 22- Donald Trump, 23- Mother Theresa